Counselor Doubts

I'm feeling increasingly uncomfortable with our counselor being able to help Blondie. She enjoys her visits (we've had three) but I think the woman has no experience at all with foster kids.

I talked to her last week about my concerns about attachment issues. I said that I felt that Blondie might put more stock in what I tell her if she was more attached to me. She pooh-poohed that and said that Blondie is just impulsive and not thinking at all about her disobedience as being disrespectful, blah blah blah. Maybe so, maybe not, but that is not the point. The point is that we aren't attached in a way that would be healthy for both of us.

So I tried again this week. I told her that I was interested in working on attachment with Blondie. I told her that she isn't involved with the family the way that Bubbles is. She said that we should try to include her more. So I corrected that and said that Blondie is involved in our activities, but she is holding back emotionally. I said that Bubbles is really trying to integrate herself into the family and wants to be part of us, but Blondie could probably go to another family and other than the shock to her system over the home and school change, she'd be okay and just have a new female caregiver to provide food and clothes. At that point the counselor said, "Are you saying you'd like her to go to another family?"

I nearly exploded. I told her, "You completely misunderstood what I was trying to say!" I'm just saying that Blondie is not attached, and I want her to be, not that I want her to leave! I wouldn't be asking for help for attachment issues if I wanted to kick her to the curb. I don't know if we're going to go back. I think I really need to find a counselor that understands foster kids.

Oh, and when I asked again specifically on working on attachment, she said that I should spend time with her one on one for 20 to 30 minutes every other day.

Thanks for the help, lady.