Response to Anonymous

I had an anonymous poster say about my "Hard to Explain" post:

you said "it wasn't very nice to ask for my advice and then stand there glaring...." but in your explanation of the situation, you did not describe her asking for advice. Only described her telling you or maybe even venting that glue keeps getting on her lunchbox. If that is the case, and she did not ask for your advice.. then aren't you the one who wasn't very nice?She was venting and you were "fixing". Often times our kids need our ear and our understanding more than they need anything else.

Maybe so. In thinking back over the situation, she didn't actually ask...but she said it the way she always does when she wants my help. She wants me to fix everything. She comes to me with a complaint and then looks at me expectantly, waiting for an answer. It was the tattling voice that she uses when complains about her sister's stuff on her side of the room. etc. It wasn't just a sad, needing some comfort kind of voice. I frequently do say something to the effect of "I'm sorry to hear that" and that makes her mad too. I get that same glare. I guess you might have to live with her day to day and see her body language and know her to understand, and to have lived with her for the past two and a half years and know her cues.

I think she really wanted me to say this: "I'll come up to the school and talk to your teacher and see if she will talk to them about not getting glue on your lunchbox." But instead of taking it on myself, I offered a solution that involved HER changing something, and she didn't appreciate that. Next time though, I think I'll ask her to try to think of a solution, and see if we can come up with one together. Obviously, if I'd known it was going to blow up like that I would have done it differently. Hindsight is 20/20 you know.