Hmmm

I guess I don't understand. From the responses I've gotten, some as comments and some directly to my email, people seem to think I should discourage my son from telling me about Blondie or Bubble's behavior. There is no triad going on with my son, Bubbles and me. There are six of us in this family. My son is just as likely to tell us about Blondie or Bubbles, and he is just as likely to tell my husband or me. If my oldest daughter did something dangerous or stupid, he'd tell us about that too. We expect him to. We have encouraged him to. We should all be looking out for each other's welfare. That said, we have also discouraged him from tattling about every little thing. There are many things he has told us that we have ignored or told him that those were little things that didn't mean much. We don't expect him to know what is a big thing or what is small, so we just let him tell us everything he feels is important and we decide from there.

I really thought that bullying was a big deal, but evidently you guys don't. All you could see was that my son was doing something wrong. Well, I disagree. If one of my children is acting in a threatening manner toward a much smaller child, I need to be told. If one of my children is throwing things off the bus that could cause injury to a person or damage to a vehicle, I need to be told. If one of my children is standing up on the bus, and could be hurt if the bus comes to a sudden stop, I need to be told. I will not discourage my son or any of my children from telling me about harmful behavior.

Incidentally, my son tells us in private about these things.

Bullies?

Okay, I have some idea how to tell my children how to deal with bullies.

But what do you do when YOUR child is the bully?

Yesterday at church, Bubbles got in the face of a 4 year old child (Bubbles is 7) and angrily told her to "get away" because Bubbles wanted the seat that the 4 year old was headed for. She slammed her bible down in the chair and then leaned over the little girl in a menacing way until the girl left, clearly upset. My son witnessed the exchange and reported it right after church.

We made her write sentences, but I doubt that will have much affect. Does anybody have any advice for this situation?

Easter Preparations

With two younger children in the house this year, it was time to decorate Easter eggs and to craft a couple of new Easter baskets. Everyone had fun. We're headed to an Easter picnic this afternoon, and then we have lots of family joining us at our house tomorrow for Easter lunch. We'll be having lots of fun hunting Easter eggs!

Getting Better

I took Bucky to the doctor Monday and she gave him steroids, antibiotics and some decongestant. By sheer force of will (his and mine) he stayed at school all day yesterday. He had to take his inhaler with him to school today, just in case, because he woke up wheezing this morning. He only has asthma when he gets sick, so normally he never needs an inhaler.

Today, I'm on my own again. I finally got the taxes done. I want to get into a routine, at least for the dishes, laundry and making dinner. I have other projects I need to work on, like making/fixing the curtains, gardening, etc. I've decided to go see my grandmother today. I wanted to go last week but I couldn't. I have to get some groceries today, so I'm combining trips to save gas.

Blondie and Bubbles both got in trouble at school on Monday. They came home and told me, and so they each had to write 25 sentences about behaving in school before they could do anything else. Bubbles had sentences left over from the day before, because she colored with sidewalk chalk on the back porch instead of the driveway, even though I told her not to. Then she told Boaz that she didn't remember she wasn't supposed to. That is her standard response to try to get out of trouble, "I forgot" or "I didn't hear you" even when she actually responded at the time. Anyway, she finally finished all her sentences last night.

Our social worker told me that CPS doesn't allow pointless punishments like moving objects from one place to another and then back again, but they do allow things like picking up trash. We have used that punishment when the girls are caught littering, but I like to make the consequences be related to the misbehavior, and it's really hard to do that sometimes. She said that CPS allows sentences, and recommended that we use that. We've been using it, but I don't like it much. And I don't see how it has a point either. I guess it does improve their handwriting, maybe, and it sort of constitutes a long time out.

I'm so proud of the improvements they have both made. Bubbles almost never wets the bed anymore. This is a remarkable improvement from when she arrived on two bedwetting medications and still wetting the bed five nights out of seven. Now neither girl is on any medication, and they don't need any. We have been working on their speech and grammar, and that is making big improvements too. My only struggle there is that Boaz thinks they sound "cute" and fusses at Babygirl when he hears her correcting them. It may be cute for seven and eight year olds not to be able to say "gargle" and "each other" so that it comes out "goggle" and "eashother" but it won't be cute when they are applying for jobs. They have to learn, and the younger they are the easier it will be. This is evidenced by the fact that the younger one, Bubbles, has already made more improvement than Blondie. I attribute this completely to the difference in their ages. Blondie has had longer to form bad habits.

God willing, I'll be home with all of them this summer. I hope to get Blondie and Bubbles a jump start on their school work next year. They've been behind due to no one working with them, but I've already seen a lot of improvement. Blondie could barely spell anything when she came to me in November, and couldn't even repeat the letters back to me right after saying them once. Now, she can run through a list of 20 words and get 16 or 17 of them right the first time, and be spelling the other three or four in about five minutes of working with her. It's amazing how much kids change when they have love and attention and feel secure.

This morning Bubbles told me that after God, she loved me more than anyone in the whole world. She's really a sweet little girl and very complimentary and willing to share. Blondie is a willing helper and loves to be right by your side, helping with whatever you are doing, especially if it is outside. It's so heartwarming to see her most days walking with Boaz out in the yard, watering the trees and other things. She's also a tough little thing. I'm glad she's not squeamish because we'd have a very hard time otherwise with the upcoming shots. She knows the shots will help her grow, and she asks frequently when we are going to start, because she is eager to get bigger.

I'm in a much better frame of mind than I was last week. I was sick last week too, through everything that happened, so that didn't help either. I want to relax and believe that I'm really going to be able to stay home and not go back to work, but right now I'm not really believing it I guess. We really don't have enough money, so I'm going to have to find a way to help out in that area. I just don't want to go back full time. My kids need me, and I need to take care of them. I'm not happy when I don't feel that I'm fulfilling their needs adequately. I still feel like I have so much to do.

So I'd better end this post and get started....

So It's Been A Week So Far

People keep asking me how it's going being a SAHM. Honestly, the first week was awful, but I guess that depends on your expectations. My expectations were different than how it went.

Blondie did stay home with me on Friday. She was sick through the weekend. The bright spot was last Saturday when I went to see my new baby cousin in the hospital. It was my cousin's first baby, and the love in her eyes for the baby really touched me. The maternal instinct is strong and takes over quickly. :)

The week started out okay on Monday. The social worker was scheduled to visit at 4:30 and Blondie had an appointment to find out if she will be on growth hormone shots at 2:45. I rushed around straightening the house and doing dishes. Then I put in a call to the social worker because I was afraid we wouldn't be home before she got here. She called back and we rescheduled the appointment for Tuesday. So I stopped cleaning house and made supper instead. I talked to my best friend and we went over our lessons for our bible study while I chopped onions.

I took Blondie to the doctor and found out that her growth hormone level is so low that she will probably need to take the shots for the rest of her life. Most people get to stop when they are 16. She is scheduled for an MRI next week, and the shots will probably start in about three weeks. The doctor said that the insurance company takes that over from here, and they will send someone to our house with the medication and teach me how to give the shots. It is possible that Boaz will be the one to give her the shot each night, because he used to give himself allergy shots and is less squeamish about the whole thing. I could do it, but I'll gladly step aside if he is willing. :)

On Tuesday, Bucky got sick. I had to pick him up early from school. Bucky has already missed 15 days of school this year, and can only miss 18 days if he wants to pass sixth grade. Fortunately he was there for homeroom and wasn't counted absent. He didn't get well. I had to pick him up right after homeroom every day last week. I'm going to take him to the doctor today. If he doesn't have strep then I'm going to ask them to give him a steroid shot. Usually I hate that type of thing, but the kid isn't getting well. He is weak and has a sore throat. It started out with a stomachache, and he is now congested and just generally feels bad. He has had fever, but it's never been over 99.5. I think it's just some kind of weird virus that won't go away.

On Wednesday night, Bubbles reported a loud noise coming from the garage. Bucky went to check, and it turns out that a pipe had broken and water was pouring into the garage. Boaz ran out and turned it off. We didn't have the necessary equipment to fix it right then. So we took the kids to church, except Bucky who was sick and stayed home, and Boaz went to the hardware store while I checked the kids in. We ate dinner and took the kids home. When we got there with the right parts, Boaz realized that his glue was dried up. Yea! So now we were looking at an entire day without water on Thursday until Boaz could pick up some glue on the way home from work. Yea! Can you tell how excited I was about not having water in the house?

Babygirl, Blondie and Bubbles had to go without baths on Thursday. Fortunately I had one Wednesday, but the girls had theirs on Tuesday. Bucky never bathes anyway...okay, he does, but let's just say bathing isn't high on the priority list for him. I have to harass him to get him clean regularly.

Early Thursday morning I was out at the faucet that comes off the well, filling buckets to bring water into the house. We had to have it to be able to flush the toilets. I won't give the details of the toilet ordeals, but let's just say it wasn't fun. We couldn't even wash our hands much. I would pour some water into the sink and use the stopper, and then everyone would wash in the same water. Eww. You never know what a blessing it is to have running water in your house until you don't have it.

Guess what! Boaz got asked to work late on Thursday! Yea! That meant that the water situation would continue until late that night. Finally, he got home at 9pm and fixed the broken pipe. I was worn out and unhappy about how my first week had gone, and I was really hoping for a nice day on Friday. Then Boaz checked the messages on the phone and there was one from the church secretary asking me to help out at the church on Friday morning. After a big sigh, I decided that I would do it. I thought maybe God was testing me to see if I would really put him first even after a week like I had just had.

So Friday I went up to church and played receptionist. Of course, I had to take a short break to go pick up Bucky from school. There was a loveseat in the church office, and he was able to rest on it and play his Nintendo DS. I also got to eat lunch with a good friend who works at the church, and that was very nice.

I had a pretty good weekend. Babygirl, Bubbles and I planted tomatoes, peppers, corn and flowers while Boaz rode on his tractor, Bucky played games in the house, and Blondie wrote sentences.

Blondie had a very bad day on Friday. She brought home a note from her teacher stating they had had a rough day and that Blondie had been very argumentative with her. Blondie also brought home a sandwich that wasn't hers and tried to hide it from me. We have received complaints from her teacher that she begs other kids for food, so she has been told that she is not allowed to take any food from other kids. I asked Blondie to bring me her backpack so that we could get rid of all the old papers and such, and she removed the sandwich and the part of her lunch that she hadn't eated and left it in the dining room. I happened to walk into the kitchen for something, and I heard a bag rattling in the dining room. I went to check, and there was our cat, Joey, enjoying a peanut butter sandwich on white bread. I knew immediately from both the color of the ziploc bag and the white bread that it didn't come from our home. I asked both girls about it, and both denied that it was theirs, and then Blondie started babbling that it belonged to her friend, but she had no idea how it ended up in her bag, blah, blah, blah. Suddenly I heard rattling again! This time Joey was happily enjoying an orange slice and some cherry tomatoes that Blondie didn't eat.

I called my SIL who is a social worker for advice. Obviously if Blondie is bringing food home, I'm sending enough food in her lunch. So I don't think I need to send m0re food. On the other hand, I don't want to send less food until she doesn't have enough and that increases her need to ask others for their food. My SIL suggested that I ask her each day what fruit she would like and how much of it.

Boaz decided that since Blondie wanted the sandwich so bad that she brought it home, then she had to eat it. We cut off the parts that Joey had nibbled, and Blondie got to eat it while we had homemade burritos. She said that it wasn't very good because it didn't have any jelly on it, and the peanut butter didn't taste as good as ours. She also said that she doesn't want anyone else's food anymore because she wants to eat what we're having. I guess we'll see. I don't know what else to do to keep her from begging for food at school. I know her friends won't like her if she keeps it up, but how can I convince her to stop?

On Sunday we went to church, and then I took Babygirl and Blondie shopping with me for new summer clothes. Bubbles was supposed to go, but she refused to eat her lunch because it included a salad, which resulted in her not being able to go shopping. I told her that she would be tired if she didn't have energy from not eating. She was quite happy to have her salad at dinner time. I guess skipping lunch can even make a salad taste good.

I really hope this week is better.