Monday, April 17, 2006

Bullies?

Okay, I have some idea how to tell my children how to deal with bullies.

But what do you do when YOUR child is the bully?

Yesterday at church, Bubbles got in the face of a 4 year old child (Bubbles is 7) and angrily told her to "get away" because Bubbles wanted the seat that the 4 year old was headed for. She slammed her bible down in the chair and then leaned over the little girl in a menacing way until the girl left, clearly upset. My son witnessed the exchange and reported it right after church.

We made her write sentences, but I doubt that will have much affect. Does anybody have any advice for this situation?

2 comments:

David Michael said...

Be aware that a triangle may develop between your son, Bubbles, and yourself. The alignment between you and your son would cause Bubbles to feel sqeezed out. This may increase her anger, which she will take out on others who are probably smaller. Counseling with a good family therapist can help with this.

You probably asked her why she treated the girl this way. That is where I start, and then in a calm manner talk about boundaries and what is expected. Say something like, "Next time when someone is in a place where you want to sit, what are you going to do?" I would also give the child a vision of the behavior that you want. When they misbehave say, "This is not like you to ...." You are so much better than this. My expection for you is.." What are you going to going to do next time?

CJ said...

I wish I had some advice. I'm dealing with a bully too...only on a much larger scale. Good luck!!!