Storm Clouds?

I had a feeling that she could only hold up for so long. This week Blondie got a zero on her spelling homework, and the next day she had not done her science homework, so the teacher made her stay in from recess and complete it and she lost 10 points for it being late. Both teachers notified me by email or I wouldn't have known. I did not punish Blondie. I offered to help her with her homework any time it is needed, and reminded her that fifth grade will be repeated next year if she doesn't want to do her work.

We'll see what happens. I'm trying to keep my anxiety over it at a minimum. Nothing I did last year worked, which included threatening, punishing, a futile attempt at a reward system which had no effect, and worrying myself sick. I'm going to let the consequences fall where they fall. I can't control this situation.

My goal is to just be informative and supportive. The rest is up to her and the school. As much as possible I am not going to punish her for anything that happens at school. If they punished her, that is good enough for me. I will not intervene unless the school asks me to. And I will take deep cleansing breaths and try to relax and let it all go.

I can only provide the information to her, I can't force her to act on it. (Repeat to self several times a day).

Bubbles has withdrawn emotionally. It happened in May, after a discussion about her birth parents, and nothing I have said to her since has made any difference. On the other hand, I believe that Blondie may be beginning to bond with me. I never would have guessed when we brought them home that this would happen. Bubbles was the sweet, cuddly, eager to please one, and Blondie was whiny, annoying and generally unpleasant to be around. Everyone talked about how easy it was to love Bubbles and that it was so difficult to even like Blondie.

My emotions have been on a roller coaster ride over the last three years, and are finally becoming calmer in the past few weeks. In the begining, I began by trying very hard to bond with them. Then I became so discouraged by their behavior and lack of response to my instruction that I was more inclined to avoid them. Now I'm ready to just let things happen as they happen. If we bond, great, and if we don't, oh well, there's not much I can do about it. I have begun to feel some genuine affection for Blondie, against all odds. I never would have believed that I would like her more than Bubbles, but right now I definitely do. I can only hope that my relationships with both girls will grow over time. It has become much easier to like them since I quit trying to control them as much. Maybe my new attitude will be just what we all needed. Only time will tell.