Posts
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Grandma
Yesterday I called the girls' grandma. She is currently fostering one of their brothers, Thunder. Lightning, another of their brothers, is in a different foster home, but comes to her house most weekends. DH and I have been very reluctant to call her, mostly due to the fear that somehow the girls' biological parents will find out where we live and cause problems. But I called anyway. She was so relieved to hear from me that she cried. She said she has been so worried about them, and she was so happy to know that they were safe and in a good home. She said that hearing from me was the best Christmas present she received this year. We are planning to meet with her and her husband one day after Christmas. We don't mind if the girls have contact with her, our primary concern is just to keep them safe. Their brothers are having so many problems right now that I'm not going to allow contact. If things improve in the future then we may revise that decision, but for now I don't think it is safe for them. The girls were very happy to hear that I had called their grandmother and they are going to get to see her soon. The girls are doing well. Yesterday I took Son, D2 & D3 to Subway to grab a sandwich. While I was paying, I had them all sit in a booth closeby and wait for me. The lady just behind me said, "You have such well-behaved children. You just don't see that these days." Ha! It just goes to show that you CAN discipline without spanking. I didn't know it could be done. But really, it's all in the attitude. I'm very sweet when they are good, and VERY stern when they are not. It's working well. The problem is controlling their behavior when I'm not there. D3 is doing much better at this than D2. She really wants to please us and not be punished. She has even started saying "Was I good today?" I always want to immediately say yes, but DH usually speaks up first and says "Did you lie to us today? Did you disobey us today?" He tells her that she was pretty good, but she can do better if she tries. D2 stood up on the bus Monday. She has been told over and over and over that she has to sit down on the bus. She knows that Son sees her standing and that he is going to tell us about it. So obviously our punishments haven't been getting through to her. Son also told us that D2 was blowing a horn on the bus and annoying everyone, so he told her to stop, and she turned and blew it right in his face a couple of times. For that misbehavior, she got a timeout, had to throw away the horn, lost a quarter, and had to go straight to bed after supper. I told her that obviously timeout and losing quarters wasn't changing her behavior, so that she would now be going straight to bed after supper every day that she stands up on the bus. Yesterday she stayed in her seat. It looks like we might have found something that works.
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Little Miss Spider
D2 & D3 both checked out a copy of the same book at school. (D2 copies D3, her younger sister, all the time, but that is another post.) The book is called Little Miss Spider by David Kirk. I sat down to read it with D2 for her reading time homework while D3 was doing a worksheet.
The story is about a baby spider that hatches and can't find her mom. She enlists the help of an adult beetle named Betty. They search high and low for the baby spider's mom. The little spider is nearly eaten by some baby birds, but Betty swoops in and saves her.
Then Betty takes the frightened and sad little spider to her home and asks her if she would like to live with her. The little spider says "I've found my mother!" She and Betty share a hug.
And the last page of the book goes something like this: "So to find your mother, There's one certain test, Just look for the creature, That loves you the best!"
I couldn't help but see the similarities, and I said, "Look, Betty the beetle adopted the little spider!" And D2 said "Just like you adopted me!" and there were sweet hugs and snuggles following that. D3 noticed and said, "Will you do it like that with me too?" It was the very first sign of jealousy that I've seen in D3. I assured her that we would read it just the same way, and we did.
I have to recommend the book. I got it out to show DH after the girls went to bed, and of course I cried as I tried to read it to him. Of all the books they could have picked out and brought home, they picked that, having no idea the way it sort of mirrors their lives.
Just another one of God's little miracles.
The story is about a baby spider that hatches and can't find her mom. She enlists the help of an adult beetle named Betty. They search high and low for the baby spider's mom. The little spider is nearly eaten by some baby birds, but Betty swoops in and saves her.
Then Betty takes the frightened and sad little spider to her home and asks her if she would like to live with her. The little spider says "I've found my mother!" She and Betty share a hug.
And the last page of the book goes something like this: "So to find your mother, There's one certain test, Just look for the creature, That loves you the best!"
I couldn't help but see the similarities, and I said, "Look, Betty the beetle adopted the little spider!" And D2 said "Just like you adopted me!" and there were sweet hugs and snuggles following that. D3 noticed and said, "Will you do it like that with me too?" It was the very first sign of jealousy that I've seen in D3. I assured her that we would read it just the same way, and we did.
I have to recommend the book. I got it out to show DH after the girls went to bed, and of course I cried as I tried to read it to him. Of all the books they could have picked out and brought home, they picked that, having no idea the way it sort of mirrors their lives.
Just another one of God's little miracles.
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
What's Your Theological Worldview?
Here's what it said about me:
You scored as Fundamentalist. You are a fundamentalist. You take the Bible as the foundation of your faith and read it very literally, and it shapes your worldview. Non-fundamentalist Christians have watered-down the Gospel in your view, and academic study of the Bible stops us from 'taking God at his word.' Science is opposed to faith, as it contradicts basic biblical truths.
What's your theological worldview? |
Try it yourself!
Hope
I took D2 to see the doctor yesterday. We read books in the waiting room, and then we were put into an exam room after they weighed and measured her. We had too much fun in the exam room, laughing and singing and joking around. D3 was with us too. They could probably hear us giggling all up and down the halls.
The doctor came in and asked questions about the birth parents. All I really know is that they were tall, had drug and alcohol issues and smoked around the girls all the time. He felt that both girls' breathing would improve over time with being away from cigarette smoke. He checked inside K's nose and one side was clear but the other side was stopped up. He didn't feel that it was a physical abnormality, just a mucus blockage. He recommended saline rinses twice a day during the week and more frequently on the weekends.
He also did a physical examination in regards to her stature. She is below the 5th percentile on her height and about 25% on her weight. He said that her body is completely proportional and that was promising. He wants to see her every three months for a while and see if she is growing. He thinks she might suddenly hit a growth spurt if she continues to eat well. He told her at the visit that her mom is the smartest person in the world (who told him? hehe) and that she should listen to her mom and eat what mom says to eat. D2 agreed to do it.
We did the first saline rinse this morning. I felt really sorry for her, because her face got red and her eyes teared up, but she stood there like a little soldier and let me do it. When we were done and she had cleaned her face, I gave her a big hug and told her I was so proud of her for getting through that, and I knew it was hard.
I'm really hopeful that she will start to grow on her own and we won't need growth hormone shots. The doctor said that he has only seen about a one inch improvement with using them anyway. He didn't see anything that threw up any red flags and for that I'm very thankful. Now we just have to wait and see.
The doctor came in and asked questions about the birth parents. All I really know is that they were tall, had drug and alcohol issues and smoked around the girls all the time. He felt that both girls' breathing would improve over time with being away from cigarette smoke. He checked inside K's nose and one side was clear but the other side was stopped up. He didn't feel that it was a physical abnormality, just a mucus blockage. He recommended saline rinses twice a day during the week and more frequently on the weekends.
He also did a physical examination in regards to her stature. She is below the 5th percentile on her height and about 25% on her weight. He said that her body is completely proportional and that was promising. He wants to see her every three months for a while and see if she is growing. He thinks she might suddenly hit a growth spurt if she continues to eat well. He told her at the visit that her mom is the smartest person in the world (who told him? hehe) and that she should listen to her mom and eat what mom says to eat. D2 agreed to do it.
We did the first saline rinse this morning. I felt really sorry for her, because her face got red and her eyes teared up, but she stood there like a little soldier and let me do it. When we were done and she had cleaned her face, I gave her a big hug and told her I was so proud of her for getting through that, and I knew it was hard.
I'm really hopeful that she will start to grow on her own and we won't need growth hormone shots. The doctor said that he has only seen about a one inch improvement with using them anyway. He didn't see anything that threw up any red flags and for that I'm very thankful. Now we just have to wait and see.
Monday, December 12, 2005
Tagged
Seven Things:
Seven Things to do Before I Die:
1) Lead another person to Christ
2) Go to Norway
3) Write a book
4) See my grandchild(ren)
5) Adopt again
6) Grow into the woman God wants me to be
7) Live life to the fullest
Seven Things I Cannot or Will Not Do:
1) Leave my husband
2) Deny my faith in Jesus Christ
3) Disinherit one of my children
4) Eat meat (Anything that breathed, swam, had eyeballs, you get the picture)
5) Force my religion on someone else (Our Father is a gentleman)
6) Jump out of a perfectly good airplane
7) Look at pornography
Seven Things that Attract Me to my Spouse:
1) His faith in Jesus Christ
2) He's loyal
3) He's silly
4) He's strong (physically and emotionally)
5) He looks great in Wrangler's
6) He works hard
7) He's smart
Seven Things I Say Most Often:
1) "I love you"
2) "I'm sorry"
3) "No you may not"
4) "Where's Joey?"
5) "Where's Daddy?"
6) "Let's go"
7) "D2 close your mouth when you eat"
Seven Books or Series I Love
1) The Bible
2) Left Behind Series
3) Harry Potter Series
4) Lavyrle Spencer - everything she writes
5) Attaching in Adoption
6) The Grouchy Ladybug
7) Vegetarian Cooking for Everyone
Seven Movies I Watch Over and Over Again (or would if I had the time):
1) Parent Trap
2) Mulan
3) The Edge
4) The Jesus movie
5) The Notebook
6) Head Over Heels
7) Anything with Morgan Freeman
Seven People I Want to Join in Too:
1) If you are reading this, consider yourself tagged!
Seven Things to do Before I Die:
1) Lead another person to Christ
2) Go to Norway
3) Write a book
4) See my grandchild(ren)
5) Adopt again
6) Grow into the woman God wants me to be
7) Live life to the fullest
Seven Things I Cannot or Will Not Do:
1) Leave my husband
2) Deny my faith in Jesus Christ
3) Disinherit one of my children
4) Eat meat (Anything that breathed, swam, had eyeballs, you get the picture)
5) Force my religion on someone else (Our Father is a gentleman)
6) Jump out of a perfectly good airplane
7) Look at pornography
Seven Things that Attract Me to my Spouse:
1) His faith in Jesus Christ
2) He's loyal
3) He's silly
4) He's strong (physically and emotionally)
5) He looks great in Wrangler's
6) He works hard
7) He's smart
Seven Things I Say Most Often:
1) "I love you"
2) "I'm sorry"
3) "No you may not"
4) "Where's Joey?"
5) "Where's Daddy?"
6) "Let's go"
7) "D2 close your mouth when you eat"
Seven Books or Series I Love
1) The Bible
2) Left Behind Series
3) Harry Potter Series
4) Lavyrle Spencer - everything she writes
5) Attaching in Adoption
6) The Grouchy Ladybug
7) Vegetarian Cooking for Everyone
Seven Movies I Watch Over and Over Again (or would if I had the time):
1) Parent Trap
2) Mulan
3) The Edge
4) The Jesus movie
5) The Notebook
6) Head Over Heels
7) Anything with Morgan Freeman
Seven People I Want to Join in Too:
1) If you are reading this, consider yourself tagged!
Funny/Sad
We had a good weekend. I was in a wedding on Saturday and had to leave around noon and was gone the rest of the day. DH had planned to attend the wedding but he wasn't feeling well so he ended up staying home all day with all four kids. They had lots of fun playing. DH told me that the girls had fun squirting water in his hair and giving him different hair styles. D2 was in and out of time out most of the day. She gets eight minutes per time out (we got that idea from that show "The Nanny") which is one minute for each year. She has such a hard time telling the truth. Yesterday we got together with DH's family to celebrate Christmas. His parents gave each of our kids $25. D3 opened hers and I said "What did you get?" She said "I got some money, but it's only pretend." I told her it wasn't pretend. She was shocked and said "It's not?" She said "I've never had a $20 bill before! I'm so happy!" She had the hugest smile on her face. Both girls were very excited. This morning went pretty smoothly. D3 got a time out for not obeying but otherwise we did fine. While we were waiting in the car for the school bus to come, D3 was sitting beside me and looked in the rearview mirror and said "I can see myself!" So my educator type self kicked in and I said "Do you know what that mirror is used for?" AND SHE SAID "It's for looking to see if there's cops back there." I laughed. I couldn't help it. I told her that could be one of the reasons, but it wasn't the reason I was looking for. I explained the appropriate use of the mirror, and also told her that we would call them "police" instead of cops. Then D2 told me that they also call them the "Poe-poe". I asked her if that is what Foster Mom called them and she said yes. I told her that we would still call them the "police". I called DH and told him about the cops in the rearview mirror and we both had a good laugh. I know she probably thought that because she heard her birth parents using it that way, and it's sad that D3 learned that from them, but it was just such an expected answer we had to laugh. Please take a look at Howard News. They have finally adopted Noelle! And I've been tagged by Cindy. I'll get to that in the next post.
Friday, December 09, 2005
Four Weeks
How do I describe what it's like after four weeks of being a mother to two kids that I didn't give birth to?
We love them. It's still not the same closeness I have with D1 and Son. I hope that will come in time. But I love them. It feels right, and it feels like they are mine. They belong with me.
D3 is bubbly, sweet and affectionate. She wants to please, she wants to learn, she wants to be good. She pays attention when I teach her and gets so excited when she learns something new. She is very sensitive, and when she cries, she cries silently with huge tears rolling down her face. When she gives a hug she throws herself into it and wants a kiss too. She's just a precious six year old girl.
D2 is more difficult. She is attention-starved. She talks constantly, mostly about nothing. She lies to us almost every other sentence out of her mouth. The first couple of weeks she told huge whoppers, such as that she is a black belt in karate, and that she put up at swing set at the age of six almost entirely on her own. In response to those, we made up a silly game in which all of us started making extravagant claims about our accomplishments. "I've walked on the sun!" "I built this house yesterday!" "Christmas was MY idea!" Even D2 joins in. Since that time, she hasn't told as many. It's still a fun game to play though.
D2 is harder to love. She's more difficult and not as affectionate. However, she does desperately want to be loved and wants attention. She just goes about it in the wrong way. She makes herself extremely annoying by pestering, talking in a baby voice and being bossy. We've really got a lot of work to do with her. But we love her. She is ours. DH really has a way with her too. Last night she got in trouble because she disobeyed us. DH sat down with her and told her how upset he was that she disobeyed, but even while upset, he repeated to her how much he loves her and wants what is best for her. He told her that he will always love her no matter what she does, but that she has to obey us. He told her that her birth parents didn't care enough about her to give up the alcohol and drugs, but that she has parents now who care about her and will take care of her. (I know he isn't supposed to say that, but I wasn't there and ... oh, well.)
She cried and got a time out for being disobedient. She also lost the rest of this week's allowance. I know it is going to take a lot of time for her to learn better habits. I think that she has faced more difficulty in the past than D3 has. My heart goes out to her for the things I know and the things I don't know, that have shaped her into who she is. I just want to help her.
DH told her last night that he knows some bad things happened to her in the past and we can't change the past, but the decisions she makes today will shape her future, and she does have control over that. Have I mentioned that my respect for my husband over the past four weeks has increased about 5000%? I've seen a side of him I never knew was there. He truly loves and cares about these little girls. It's funny because I was the one going whole-heartedly into this in the beginning, but they stole his heart before mine, I think.
Son is going back and forth on which one he likes best. I told him he doesn't have to have a favorite. He is still jealous of D3, but D3 has been getting on his nerves, so sometimes he prefers one and then the other. D1 is tolerating both of them, and I can't tell if she has a favorite. I don't think that having little sisters has been as wonderful as she dreamed in the beginning. But I still know we are doing the right thing. My children will grow as they learn to share and give to each other.
Next week I'm taking D2 to the doctor because she is tiny for her age (her six year old sister is 3-4 inches taller) and also because she can't breathe through her nose. It breaks my heart to think we might be too late in helping her to grow, due to her being in foster care at the time it might have been corrected. Please pray with me that it's not too late and we can help her grow to some sort of normal size. And also pray that we can help her emotionally and be the parents she needs. Pray that God will guide us as we teach her to be truthful, obedient and pleasant to be around.
We love them. It's still not the same closeness I have with D1 and Son. I hope that will come in time. But I love them. It feels right, and it feels like they are mine. They belong with me.
D3 is bubbly, sweet and affectionate. She wants to please, she wants to learn, she wants to be good. She pays attention when I teach her and gets so excited when she learns something new. She is very sensitive, and when she cries, she cries silently with huge tears rolling down her face. When she gives a hug she throws herself into it and wants a kiss too. She's just a precious six year old girl.
D2 is more difficult. She is attention-starved. She talks constantly, mostly about nothing. She lies to us almost every other sentence out of her mouth. The first couple of weeks she told huge whoppers, such as that she is a black belt in karate, and that she put up at swing set at the age of six almost entirely on her own. In response to those, we made up a silly game in which all of us started making extravagant claims about our accomplishments. "I've walked on the sun!" "I built this house yesterday!" "Christmas was MY idea!" Even D2 joins in. Since that time, she hasn't told as many. It's still a fun game to play though.
D2 is harder to love. She's more difficult and not as affectionate. However, she does desperately want to be loved and wants attention. She just goes about it in the wrong way. She makes herself extremely annoying by pestering, talking in a baby voice and being bossy. We've really got a lot of work to do with her. But we love her. She is ours. DH really has a way with her too. Last night she got in trouble because she disobeyed us. DH sat down with her and told her how upset he was that she disobeyed, but even while upset, he repeated to her how much he loves her and wants what is best for her. He told her that he will always love her no matter what she does, but that she has to obey us. He told her that her birth parents didn't care enough about her to give up the alcohol and drugs, but that she has parents now who care about her and will take care of her. (I know he isn't supposed to say that, but I wasn't there and ... oh, well.)
She cried and got a time out for being disobedient. She also lost the rest of this week's allowance. I know it is going to take a lot of time for her to learn better habits. I think that she has faced more difficulty in the past than D3 has. My heart goes out to her for the things I know and the things I don't know, that have shaped her into who she is. I just want to help her.
DH told her last night that he knows some bad things happened to her in the past and we can't change the past, but the decisions she makes today will shape her future, and she does have control over that. Have I mentioned that my respect for my husband over the past four weeks has increased about 5000%? I've seen a side of him I never knew was there. He truly loves and cares about these little girls. It's funny because I was the one going whole-heartedly into this in the beginning, but they stole his heart before mine, I think.
Son is going back and forth on which one he likes best. I told him he doesn't have to have a favorite. He is still jealous of D3, but D3 has been getting on his nerves, so sometimes he prefers one and then the other. D1 is tolerating both of them, and I can't tell if she has a favorite. I don't think that having little sisters has been as wonderful as she dreamed in the beginning. But I still know we are doing the right thing. My children will grow as they learn to share and give to each other.
Next week I'm taking D2 to the doctor because she is tiny for her age (her six year old sister is 3-4 inches taller) and also because she can't breathe through her nose. It breaks my heart to think we might be too late in helping her to grow, due to her being in foster care at the time it might have been corrected. Please pray with me that it's not too late and we can help her grow to some sort of normal size. And also pray that we can help her emotionally and be the parents she needs. Pray that God will guide us as we teach her to be truthful, obedient and pleasant to be around.
Monday, December 05, 2005
Placed
On Friday there was a district wide teacher work session so all the kids got out early. Son, D2 & D3 got home around 11:30 and D1 got home around 1. I took the first three shopping with me. I got some new shirts for both girls and some jeans for D3. She is very hard to fit because she is between a 6 and 7. We finally found some 7 slims that fit well at Old Navy.
I was planning a trip to Costco but just before we got there D1 called and told me that she had not brought her key with her to school, and was now locked out of the house. She had a book and a couple of cats to keep her company on the back porch until we got home. We stopped at the grocery store and bought chocolate chips, butterscotch chips and vanilla chips for making cookies. We went home and let D1 in and then D2 & D3 & I got to work. The girls told me that they had never helped to make cookies before! So that constituted a Kodak moment (or is that a Canon moment?) and we took some pictures. I was sad that they had never done it before, but also selfishly glad that I got to be first with them at something.
After we got the first batch in the oven, Agency Worker called. She said that the regional director for CPS was very upset that the girls had been in our home so long and not been officially placed with us. She said that if they weren't placed right away then they needed to return to their foster home. Ha! So everyone was gathering at CPS and our presence was requested right away.
Now imagine this: DH had just left to take D1 to a friend's house to spend the night, Son had just invited a friend over to our house to spend the night and he would be arriving in 30 minutes, and we had cookies in the oven! So I had to do some quick shuffling. I got on mapquest.com and looked up the address to CPS. I had Son call his friend to see if we could pick him up right away and take him with us. I called DH and told him to meet me at CPS. He called back and told me to meet him in town and we'd take one car. We managed to grab a cookie on the way out the door and I even remembered to turn off the oven!
We picked up DH and the six of us rushed to CPS to finalize the placement. The girls were very excited and hyper when we got there. They were happy to see Agency Worker and Foster Worker and their adoption class leader. We signed the papers acknowledging that we have received all the information about the girls and that we intend to adopt them in six months. Poor D3 forgot her purse when we left, and she had all her allowance in it. Normally I make her leave it at home for this very reason, but on the way out of the house in a rush I didn't notice that she had brought it. We all left together and they locked the doors as we went out, so we couldn't go back and get it. We promised her we would call today and see if they had found it.
We stopped at Cici's on the way home to celebrate. When we called CPS this morning they looked everywhere but couldn't find D3's purse. I will have a very sad little girl when she gets home today. Hopefully, the fact that we are celebrating her dad's birthday today will cheer her up. I baked him a cake this morning before work and we're taking him out for mexican food tonight. D1 has a choir concert tonight and a small solo so we'll be doing that tonight too. If we thought life was busy before the adoption, we had no idea what busy meant. I'm still trying to adjust the schedule bit by bit to save time where I can. My current idea is to try bathing the girls in the morning in order to save some of our evening time for spending together. Both D1 and Son are feeling the affects of the adoption and not being able to spend as much time with me. I miss them too and I'm trying my best to work all this out.
I was planning a trip to Costco but just before we got there D1 called and told me that she had not brought her key with her to school, and was now locked out of the house. She had a book and a couple of cats to keep her company on the back porch until we got home. We stopped at the grocery store and bought chocolate chips, butterscotch chips and vanilla chips for making cookies. We went home and let D1 in and then D2 & D3 & I got to work. The girls told me that they had never helped to make cookies before! So that constituted a Kodak moment (or is that a Canon moment?) and we took some pictures. I was sad that they had never done it before, but also selfishly glad that I got to be first with them at something.
After we got the first batch in the oven, Agency Worker called. She said that the regional director for CPS was very upset that the girls had been in our home so long and not been officially placed with us. She said that if they weren't placed right away then they needed to return to their foster home. Ha! So everyone was gathering at CPS and our presence was requested right away.
Now imagine this: DH had just left to take D1 to a friend's house to spend the night, Son had just invited a friend over to our house to spend the night and he would be arriving in 30 minutes, and we had cookies in the oven! So I had to do some quick shuffling. I got on mapquest.com and looked up the address to CPS. I had Son call his friend to see if we could pick him up right away and take him with us. I called DH and told him to meet me at CPS. He called back and told me to meet him in town and we'd take one car. We managed to grab a cookie on the way out the door and I even remembered to turn off the oven!
We picked up DH and the six of us rushed to CPS to finalize the placement. The girls were very excited and hyper when we got there. They were happy to see Agency Worker and Foster Worker and their adoption class leader. We signed the papers acknowledging that we have received all the information about the girls and that we intend to adopt them in six months. Poor D3 forgot her purse when we left, and she had all her allowance in it. Normally I make her leave it at home for this very reason, but on the way out of the house in a rush I didn't notice that she had brought it. We all left together and they locked the doors as we went out, so we couldn't go back and get it. We promised her we would call today and see if they had found it.
We stopped at Cici's on the way home to celebrate. When we called CPS this morning they looked everywhere but couldn't find D3's purse. I will have a very sad little girl when she gets home today. Hopefully, the fact that we are celebrating her dad's birthday today will cheer her up. I baked him a cake this morning before work and we're taking him out for mexican food tonight. D1 has a choir concert tonight and a small solo so we'll be doing that tonight too. If we thought life was busy before the adoption, we had no idea what busy meant. I'm still trying to adjust the schedule bit by bit to save time where I can. My current idea is to try bathing the girls in the morning in order to save some of our evening time for spending together. Both D1 and Son are feeling the affects of the adoption and not being able to spend as much time with me. I miss them too and I'm trying my best to work all this out.
Thursday, December 01, 2005
So Close But...
Yesterday the subsidy office called DH. But let me back up a bit. A couple of weeks ago while sitting in Sunday School, I felt that God told me what amount to expect. I was hesitant to tell anyone because of fear that I might be wrong. But I told DH anyway. Guess what. I was right. God did speak to me. It gives me chills just to think of it. Their initial offer was the exact hundreds amount that God told me. Then DH negotiated and got 100 more. For me this is just confirmation that we are in God's will. He is providing for us, and he is our Jehovah Jirah. On with the story. CPS has a rule that a child can't receive both a foster subsidy payment and an adoptive subsidy payment in the same month. Therefore, most adoptive placements happen at the end of the month so that adoptive parents can start receiving their subsidy benefits on the first of the next month. Since you are actually reimbursed, that means for example that if the child is placed with you on December 31, then your benefits start on January 1, and you would receive your first payment the week after January 31. So. There was an immense effort to get everything finished yesterday. DH and I met at the CPS office and Agency Worker came too. We sat down to sign the papers and it was a sweet moment. However. As we went to check off that we had received all the paperwork, I didn't recognize the item at the top. Some kind of HSEGH or something. It's a 3-5 page report on each child. So D2 went to check, and sure enough it had not been completed. Oops. So we went in to talk to D2's supervisor. She told us that the girl who is supposed to do the HSEGH is out sick and her supervisor is out too, and there was no way it could be completed yesterday. She suggested that we just wait until the end of December. Agency Worker said we couldn't do that. Supervisor said if we don't then the girls won't have Medicaid until January 1. The problem is that if we wait another month, CPS will label us as foster-to-adopt for D2 & D3. If that happens, then our agency will only receive half of the contracted amount of what they receive for an adoptive placement. We have always been adopt only, so it is only fair for the agency to be paid appropriately. However, it also means that the girls will not have Medicaid for the month of December, and that we won't receive a subsidy payment until after January 31. We can afford to support the girls until that time, but I don't know yet if their therapist and psychiatrist are on our insurance. I'm not even positive that the girls have been added to our health insurance policy. They have an appointment with their therapist next week. I hope we don't have to cancel. Hopefully we'll get some answers today.
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