Thursday, February 16, 2006

Hog Hunting


Boaz is leaving tonight to go hunting for wild boars at his friend's 200 acre patch of ground. Their whole bible study group is going, which means all five of them. He will be gone for the same length of time I was gone on the retreat. I'm so happy for him to be able to get away and relax. He really needs it.

I'm going to take my four kids to a movie Friday night. It's called Nanny McPhee. That is, unless Boaz talks me out of it. He thinks that since we are trying to save money so I can stay home, that I should just rent a movie and stay home and make popcorn. Now if I hadn't already TOLD the kids we were going out, I would be more willing to do that. But I really don't want to go back on my word (and I really want to go out to the movies....).

Anyway, I have no fear of keeping the kids by myself while he's gone. I've done it several times now on Saturdays when Boaz has to work and it hasn't been a problem. We've been running errands and doing chores and having fun.

I'm scared and excited about quitting my job. Money will be a lot tighter, but time will be much more abundant. I feel like we are making the right choice.

It's funny, everything I've wanted to do in life, my family (okay, my parents) have been right there letting me know what a mistake I was making. It just gets old. Why can't they ever say, "That's great! Let me know how I can help!" But no. When I decided to go back to college to get a degree, I was told that I had a good job that I shouldn't quit. When I wanted to have another baby, I was told that my plate was full and I shouldn't do it. When I decided I wanted to adopt, I was told that I had enough to do already and it would just be too much on me. Now I want to stay home with my kids and actually enjoy my life, while making life easier on my husband and kids, and I am told that I shouldn't do it because I "just don't know how hard it is to be without money." Well I was raised by the same people saying that and we didn't have money then either. But I DID have a stay-at-home mom who had time to play games with me and we took vacations every year and we always had enough to eat. It's just frustrating to NEVER get any support. I know what is right for my family. And if I quit and we find out it's too hard, guess what, I can go back to work. Gee whiz. I really hate that when I'm making big changes I have to dread telling my parents.

Right now I'm hoping I can quit mid-May. That will give me two weeks at home before the kids get out. I have a bunch of things I've been putting off and it would be great to complete those sans kids.

Things I'm looking forward to (if this dream really comes true):

1) Walks in the fresh air among the wildflowers
2) The sunlight on my face
3) Gardening
4) Teaching my girls to cook
5) Playing outside with my kids
6) Teaching my daughter to drive
7) Playing games with my son
8) Homeschooling Blondie and Bubbles (I've always wanted to homeschool)
9) Having dinner ready for my husband when he gets home
10) A clean house
11) Time to clear my mind
12) Exercise
13) Lunch with friends
14) Volunteering at church
15) Talking on the phone
16) Reading

And I could go on and on...

3 comments:

Cindy said...

Hi, my name is Cindy and I found your blog through Cindy and Brien's blog. I have enjoyed reading your journey. I know how it feels to never have the support of your family too!! My inlaws are not aware of our intentions of adopting and we won't tell them until we actuallly bring our little girl home. Also, they live right next door..so it is a big pain to not share with them. I think what you and your husband are doing is great!! God is pleased with you reaching out and helping those precious girls!! You have been an encouragment to me!! I am happy for you to be able to stay at home..God will provide your needs and much more! Good luck.

Lori said...

If you and your husband are on the same page and truly believe that God is leading you to do so, Quit that job and pursue your dreams! Lean on God and He and only He can provide for your EVERY need. Who's living your life? Your parents or you? One thing that my husband and I have learned, the more we made the more we spent! If it's not there, your not going to spend it and you most likely will not miss it! Life on earth is too short, love what you do and enjoy those kids - they'll be gone before you know it!

QueenBee said...

I'm praying for you guys, Sunshine!