Monday, January 09, 2006

They Are Mean To Each Other

And it drives me nuts.

D2 frequently ignores D3. D3 will call her name, over and over, and D2 won't respond. She only does this when we aren't around, like on the bus to and from school, or at church, or if we step out of the room. I think she likes that she can get D3 so upset. D3 yells D2's name louder and louder, and then finally cries because D2 won't answer her. We've told D2 that she is not allowed to ignore D3, and if she doesn't want to play with her right now she can tell her that. So far I don't think we're getting anywhere, and I really don't know what to do.

D3 is also mean to D2. She acts hateful and disgusted with her, and they argue any time they are left alone. Now we don't even send them up together to brush their teeth and get their pajamas on. We send them one at a time. Currently I've decided not to let them play together for a while. Maybe, just maybe, they will appreciate each other more and be nicer if they have a chance to miss each other a little bit.

I'm a bit at a loss here, because I'm an only child and can't really judge how much is normal and how much is trauma induced abuse of each other. D1 and Son fought and were sometimes mean to each other, but it was different so it's hard to compare.

Sigh. Any advice?

2 comments:

No Longer In Crisis said...

It's such a shame to admit, but my brother and I were at each other's throats - and he was 7 years younger than I was. We were hateful, physically aggressive, etc. - but defended each other to the death! Apparently, we were the only ones who could treat the other badly - if anyone else tried, we stood up for each other. As adults, you'd never have known we were such terrors to each other.

My husband, on the other hand, had no sibling rivalry with his brother and sister - but more of a friendship.

I hope it's a "normal phase" the girls are going through, and that they also demonstrate lots of love too. If that's the case, in my totally uninformed world, I'd say they might just be normal little siblings (even if it annoys you to no end like it did my mom!)

QueenBee said...

i have no advice....just to reiterate what Tamara said, my sister and I fought like cats and dogs growing up. I learned some of my best strategizing skills from figuring out ways to torment her. We are the best of friends now.