Major Progress

When we first brought D3 home, she was very focused on the fact that she could go find her birthmom when she turns 18. She told us that she would miss us when she was gone but that she would still come to visit sometimes. She told us that she would like for us to sign things so that she can remember us. She said that she wouldn't be here when she was big.

This was due to good intentioned people trying to help her because she said she didn't want to be adopted. She only wanted her mom. So they explained that as soon as she turned 18 she could go back to her, but not until then. I know that her Foster Mom also explained to her that it was her birth parents' fault that she couldn't see them, and because they didn't keep their promises and do the work they needed to do to get them back. I have no control over anything that was said to her before she came to live with me, so all I can do now is move forward.

But I don't think I would have said any of the things in the above paragraph.

Anyway, we've had two months together as of tomorrow. On Sunday, something wonderful happened. I was dropping her off at Sunday School, and giving her a hug bye, and suddenly I was hit with a staggering wave of love. It was so strong that I began to cry. D3 noticed and asked me what was wrong. All I could say was "I just love you so much" and then she hugged me tighter. She didn't want to let go after I said that. I didn't either. I know it was the touch of the Holy Spirit. It's a feeling like no other. There's no other way to explain it. I've known all along that God wanted us to adopt children and specifically D2 & D3 as the process unfolded. I see what happened on Sunday as a gift. He overwhelmed me with love for this child. I love both D2 & D3, but it is a love that is new and growing. I immediately felt the commitment part of love for D2 & D3 when they came to live with us, but the feeling part takes longer.

Later on in the afternoon on Sunday, D3 came to me and asked why I cried that morning. I told her that sometimes you can love someone so much it can make you cry. She hugged me tight again. I could tell that she was very curious about it, and also touched by it, even at only 6 years old.

This morning as the girls were eating breakfast, D3 suddenly said, "Mommy, I want to stay with you when I turn 18." There's no better way to start the day than that.

D2 told us this on my birthday, when we were out shopping at the mall. She has always understood more about the situation, and I know that she had worse experiences and for a longer period of time in her birth home. She isn't as cuddly as D3, but she does want love and I do believe she prefers us and wants to stay with us. I know that they still love their birth parents in their hearts and always will, but I think they are seeing the difference in the lives they have now and they like where they are. I think they are making room in their hearts for us too.