I'm Selfish

I just talked to Agency Worker. I needed to call her to ask about storing household cleaners. We have to lock up all the medicine and the gasoline, but I was originally told that the cleaners could be up on a high shelf. Another time she mentioned that the cleaners might need to be locked up too. So I called her to clarify. It turns out the cleaners need to be locked up too.

This won't be easy. My kitchen cabinets don't really lend themselves to adding a lock. We're going to have to get creative. I asked her what if I get rid of all my cleaners and only use natural cleaners that aren't poisonous. Would those have to be locked up? She is supposed to get back with me. She said there may be a special "latch" I can use, but it has to be approved for up to the age of the oldest foster child.

Of course, the conversation turned to the girls. She doesn't have anything new to tell me. She did say that the parents have 30 days to appeal after the judge signs the official order terminating their parental rights, which could be up to a month after the hearing. The hearing was on July 11. So some time around now, their right to appeal should be expired, if it isn't already.

I told Agency Worker that it's hard to wait, and it seems like CPS has forgotten about my girls. She told me that it does seem that way with lots of kids. She said the reason is that there are so many children still being abused in their homes, and not enough workers, so that when kids are safely in foster care and no longer in danger, they become "back-burner" kids.

That is hard for me to hear. Especially because it creates a dilemma for me. If I was a CPS worker with too many cases and not enough time, I would prioritize the kids in the most danger too. I can totally understand that. But now I feel even more sad.

There are so many people out there waiting for children, wanting them desperately. And there are so many kids out there in foster care, waiting to go to permanent homes. But because there are so many abusive parents, there isn't enough time to match up the kids with the parents who want them.

And then of course there is that "elephant in the room" we don't want to talk about, which is this - if there weren't any abusive parents, none of us waiting adoptive parents in the foster-to-adopt world would have anything to wait for.