I Want My Kids

This is hard. The bureaucracy is standing between me and two of my kids.

Is it wishing upon a star to think we will get them on November 12th? Is that even possible? The closer we get, the more I lose hope. I just talked to Agency Worker and she is going to call the adoption liaison again today. There is no news. I'm anxious, excited, discouraged and hopeful, and just a little bit mad.

I pray for all four of my kids each night. God has created a love for my two new girls in my heart. I can feel it. I don't know how they will act at first, so I may have to control my actions. I want to scoop them up and hug them, but they may not be ready for that at first. I will let them set the stage for how quickly we progress, but I'm a very affectionate person and it will be hard to hold back.

I told DH this morning that I can't picture one of the girl's faces exactly. One of them I remember perfectly. He told me that he can picture both of them with big smiles. That really warmed my heart to hear that. My heart is about to explode from wanting to bring them home. I just want to know WHEN, even if I'm not happy with it. I'm so happy to know WHO. That's a really big hurdle that I'm very thankful for. But now that I know, I just want to storm over there and take my girls! It's so hard to wait and not know how long it will be. The girls haven't even been told yet that we are adopting them.

Okay, different subject. My son had four friends spend the night Saturday to celebrate his birthday. Wow! A houseful of preteen boys is a force to be reckoned with. They were ordered outside at least twice, because of shooting each other and playing tag in the house. These boys are big enough to cause some damage! It was really fun, and yes I would do it again, but at least I'll be prepared. It was a lot different than having a houseful of girls. We also got to use the van for the first time. Two of the boys stayed all day with us so they could go to the Fall Festival last night and it was fun to have so many kids around.

And last night at the Fall Festival one of our preschoolers wanted to say hi to Mr. DH, and she gave him a big hug. He told me later that he would adopt her right now, and I told him that soon we will have two new girls of our own, and it was a very happy thought for both of us.

And also last night, DH was so sweet with Daughter. She had been wearing her cowboy boots all day and her feet were hurting and she was exhausted. She took her boots off and I carried them, and my sweet husband picked up his fifteen year old daughter and carried her to the van, and then when we got home he carried her into the house. Very sweet.