Freedom

The girls have been granted the freedom to find new parents. The judge was disgusted with the CPS agency for not attempting termination 10 years ago. Evidently they've been in the system for 20 years, stemming from the abuse of their oldest daughter. They had four more children after her who are all now in foster homes.

It seems as if Agency Worker has done some backpedaling since the last time we discussed the girls. She is new to the adoption process and has only done fostering up until now. She talked to the CPS caseworker who said that the girls' case will be turned over to an adoption caseworker at CPS. This will probably happen next week. After that it is unknown how long it will take for the new caseworker to become familiar with the case and approve the move to our house. All of the caseworkers at CPS are overloaded with too much work.

So now I'm not sure if we will get the girls before school starts. No one but me seems to understand the importance of this. Maybe I'm making too much of it, but I just wanted the children to have as easy a transition as possible. I know that being in their class from the very first day would be the best way to start. Will it matter a few years from now? Probably not, but they've already been through so much.

I just want to do all I can for them and I'm completely helpless to do anything right now. Also, it would be ideal if I get them a week before school starts because then we would have a whole week to spend time together and get to know each other before starting the breakneck speed of the school year. If they come after school starts it will be a little more difficult to bond in between homework and supper time and after school activities.

God is in control. I'm trying to remember that. I heard a saying that you should pray as if it all depends on God and work as if it all depends on you. I need to work harder on part a. I'm pretty good at part b.

For some reason I feel like I'm going to cry. That makes no sense because I'm very glad the termination went through. At the same time I feel squashed flat because now I have no idea when the girls will be coming to live with us, and I hate to even think this, but if at all? What if the caseworker gives them to someone else? How I long to hug those little girls and let them know they are important and they will never suffer like that again as long as I have breath in my body.