Last Night

Last night we took our kids with us to meet the girls for the first time. On the way, we were all nervous, excited, anxious...except my husband, who was calm. We listened to praise music and sang songs, and when we got there we said a prayer and shed a few tears.

When we first walked in, both girls were standing about 15 feet away peeking at us and waving. I waved back and then sank to my knees. Both girls ran to me and threw their arms around my neck, and I wrapped my arms around them and thanked God for such a wonderful welcome from them.

We took them to McDonald's. They were excited and a little wild, but they obeyed me easily when I corrected them. They wanted to know when we would be coming to visit and when they would be going home with us.

On the way back to the car, D2 asked me if we were going to change our minds. I knew that the girls would probably be worried about this because of what happened to their foster sister, N. N's adopted-mom-to-be was supposed to show up to her graduation from adoption class, but didn't. The adults told her that she must have gotten sick and would contact her the next day. But of course, that didn't happen.

So our conversation went like this:

D2: Are you going to change you mind? (in a pleading, "I hope not" tone)
Me: No, we will not change our minds. (At this point I stopped and knelt in front of both girls)
Me: We want you to come and live with us, and we will definitely not change our minds.
D2: But what if you get sick on Friday? Will you still come to get us on Saturday?
Me: Even if I am sick on Friday, I will come to get you on Friday.
D2: Yea!
My Sweet Husband: And even if Mommy is so sick that she can't come get you, I will come get you on Friday.
Both New Daughters: Yea!
Me: I truly want you to understand how much we mean it, we aren't going to change our minds.
D3: Ok, let's go. (And she pulled DH along to the van)

Haha!

But the very sad part is this. When we arrived to pick up the girls, the little girl N (who was a sweet looking little girl, by the way) was in the foyer. She watched all the hugging and happiness with big sad eyes. The same happened when we returned. I felt like I was waving my candy in front of her face, knowing that she couldn't have any. It was horrible. When I got home last night, I was in tears for her pain, even though we had just had a wonderful time as a new family with our girls. DH and I even tentatively discussed what it would be like to just adopt her too. But we have absolutely no history on her, and truly I don't feel God calling us to do this. Agency Worker told me this morning that a couple of other families are being considered for her, so please pray that next time will be permanent for her, and that the next family will cherish her as the gift from God that she is.

D1 loved getting called "Sissy" by the girls, and really enjoyed her time with them. Son was a little more drawn to the older girl, because the younger one was very excited and a bit hyper. I reassured him that the girls were just very excited last night, and they will calm down after we get them home and we all get used to each other.

We're supposed to visit with them again tomorrow night, and then pick them up on Friday morning and take them home. Forever.