The Weekend

On Friday we went to our "selection staffing". Other than the fact that it had to be done, it was a total waste of time. In fact, we both left upset. They were very late getting to us, and we were in the waiting room of CPS for almost an hour, while we watched a pair of birth parents having their weekly visit with their three month old daughter. It was hard. I felt like the enemy. I didn't want them to know that we were there to adopt children that had been taken from their parents. I couldn't help but sit there and wonder why their kids had been taken away. From their conversation I could tell there were some older children too. Then Agency Worker came out to get us with a big "Congratulations! You've been selected!". So much for them not figuring us out! LOL

At the table were Agency Worker, D, D2, D's supervisor and D2's supervisor. I hate to say it, but D2's supervisor is an old crab. As we were talking DH referred to the girls as "our children" and the old crab spoke up and said "They aren't yours yet." Both of us looked at her in shock, and DH said "Why, are you going to take them away?" She said "no, but things aren't final yet." Both of our hearts started pounding. We both explained that unless they were going to take the girls, they WERE ours, and that we've already told them they are ours and it would be very detrimental to even consider taking them from us at this point. Everyone at the table was trying to calm us and help us see they were only talking about it from a legal standpoint. But DH was riled up and told them "Well if you're going to take them you'd better do it right now, because we're already bonding as a family and they are already calling us Mommy and Daddy." So we all got off on the wrong foot.

D had to go through the entire spiel that we had already read in their paperwork. We didn't learn anything new about the girls, except for maybe some attitudes that the birth parents had and such. Birth dad sounds like a real jerk. At that point they let us know it may be a few weeks before the subsidy amount is settled. We don't really care. Our only point of contention is that they NOT remove the girls from their home. Even if we could handle them being gone for a week, it would totally disrupt any feeling of security that they are starting to feel, and how could we ever convince them it wouldn't happen again? Agency Worker assured us that they would NOT take the girls from us, and to just get that idea out of our heads.

We told them all that we were doing fine and that the girls haven't been misbehaving or causing problems. They all exchanged knowing looks and said "honeymoon". I've heard about the honeymoon period, but I don't know what's supposed to happen when the honeymoon is over. Will they suddenly sprout three heads and start taking the house apart? They may become more difficult, but I can deal with that. I've been pleasantly surprised by their good behavior anyway. The greatest problem they have right now is selfishness, and we're working on that. They seem to think that everything between them has to be equal. It's ridiculous. It's almost to the point that if D2 takes a big breath, then D3 should get to take one too. We're going to start pointing out that there are two other kids in the house, and THEY aren't getting the desired privilege either, so just get over it.

After the meeting Agency Worker told me that the old crab scolded D for not considering other families. She said she was glad that the girls were happy and they had a good family but it's not procedure to just pick one and not look at others. All I have to say to her is Plbbbbbbbbbtt. DH took Son hunting for the weekend, and D1 spent the night with a friend on Friday night. So I had the girls to myself for Friday night and Saturday morning. We went to see Chicken Little. We had coke and popcorn and the girls loved it. The aliens were scary for D3 but she turned her head and was fine after the movie. D3 said she had never been to a movie before, but D2 already told me that a former foster mom took them to see Spiderman II. Unbelievable. I don't understand how anyone can take a 6 & 4 year old to see that. And this is supposed to be foster care? And their last foster home let them stink and have lice??? But I digress.

On Saturday morning, the girls wanted to help with housework. So we did dishes and laundry and the girls vaccuumed. I've never had such eager helpers! D1 and Son groan when I ask them to help. It's a nice change, but I doubt it will last long. D2 & D3 know that they don't get their allowance unless they help around the house, and so do D1 & Son, but the older kids don't really care if they get their allowance. D2 & D3 are so excited to get their $3 and $4 each Sunday. (I go by half their age). We picked up D1 at 11am and went shopping. We also ate out at a chinese place. D2 assured me that she had had chinese food before and she didn't like it. I asked her to describe the chinese food she had, and she told me it was macaroni and cheese. I told her that she has never had chinese food before and that she needed to give it a chance. I told her that she would miss out on lots of good food if she just says she doesn't like anything she's never tried before.

D2 loved the chinese food, but D3 didn't. It was teriaki chicken for both, but D2 got noodles and D3 got rice. D2 hates rice. She says her birthmom made white rice for them and it didn't taste good. We've explained to her that there are many kinds of rice, and that she needs to give it another try. So far no luck. She takes a bite and starts shaking her head no before she even has a chance to taste it.

On Sunday we went to church and it went well. We went out to eat after church and everyone ate their meal, except that D3 picked the ham off her sandwich. Do I have a vegetarian in the making? :) Both girls were so happy to see DH. They ran to him for hugs the second he got home. It was a happy reunion for all of us. Then I changed the girls into play clothes and their rubber boots and DH took them out for a walk. It was a relief to have a break from them. I love them but they are loud and energetic and require constant attention. I was able to relax on the couch and give my full attention to D1 and Son. Later on we all watched a movie. D3 & D2 were on each side of DH on the couch and I sat with D1 and Son on the loveseat. I know that D1 and Son have really been missing me because I've had to give so much attention to the girls. It's really a good thing that the girls are so enamored of DH because it gives me a break when I need it. D1 & Son have had lots of time with DH lately but not much with me.

I made oatmeal today and D3 loved it. She really loves to eat. D2 had cereal. I think we are all settling in.