So Much to Say....Again

On Wednesday I took the day off to spend with my kids. I had an appointment with D2&D3's doctor. I was able to get D3 off of two of her medications and cut another one in half. Yea! Unbelievably, the kid was taking four medications, most of which she doesn't need. From there we went to see my grandmother. She was delighted to meet the girls and to see all of us. She was on oxygen and didn't look good, but she seemed to perk up during the visit. D3 wrote a little note to her that said, "I (heart) you, Mom's Grandma". Too cute. Then I took them all to Putt-Putt. We had some gift certificates and coupons, so it ended up costing me nothing! The kids rode rides and we all rode go-karts. It was a lot of fun. Thursday morning while I was making food, DH took D2 & D3 outside to help him fix the mailbox. The girls rode their bikes up to the mailbox. We have a roadbase driveway that is downhill from the mailbox to home. DH told them he would race them to the house. Men. So of course they both wiped out on the driveway. To his credit, he told them to ride on the grass but they disobeyed and rode on the driveway. D2 only got a skinned knee through her jeans, but D3 landed on her face and came up bleeding with her mouth full of rocks. He brought her to the house and I cleaned her up. Poor little thing. So she wasn't a very pretty sight when she went to meet the family! She has a big scrape on her chin and some smaller scrapes under her nose going out to her cheek. They look a lot better after four days, but it's still pretty bad. I was very disappointed by my mother's behavior. I had hoped she would rise above her personal feelings, but she didn't. She was introduced to the girls, and then tried to avoid them the rest of the day. When it was time to hold hands and pray, my mother attempted to stay out of the circle because she saw that she would be forced to hold hands with D3. I'm probably the only one that noticed this. D3 had her back to her and her head bowed so she didn't notice it. I let go of D3's hand and brought my mother into the circle and she stiffly held D3's hand. Later on D2 asked my mom if she had any games. Mom came and told me that one of the girls had asked her for games to play, and that she had gotten rid of all that stuff as D1 and Son grew up and she didn't have anything like that. I asked her which girl had asked her, and she pointed toward D2 in the other room (who wasn't looking or paying attention to us) and said "oh, I don't know, it was that one, I don't know what her name is" in a disgusted type of way. After that the girls spread some cards out on the table where my dad and my mom were sitting, and asked if they could play the memory game. My dad asked my mom if she wanted to play and she said no and left the table. She stayed in the kitchen doing dishes and ignoring the girls for nearly the entire visit. I don't think the girls noticed. They don't know my mom, and there were lots of other people there, so they wouldn't realize that she wasn't being herself. Everyone else was sweet and welcoming to them. My dad played the memory game with them twice, and I saw him helping D3 to pull up her sleeves when she was eating. But D1 noticed. D1 told me later that she would never have believed her grandma would act like that if she hadn't seen it with her own eyes. I think that D1 really identifies with the girls, because she isn't DH's biological daughter. I think that when her grandmother rejected the girls, she felt rejected too. I saw D1 shooting dirty looks at my mom when my mom wasn't looking. D1 told me that she couldn't understand why blood relations mattered so much to my mom. She even said that she wondered if she had been DH's daughter instead of mine, and married into my family, would my mother have even accepted her? D1 has seen how she was welcomed with open arms into DH's family, so it really disturbed her that her own grandma wouldn't accept her new sisters. Funny though, D1 said she was really going to miss her grandma and grandpa! I told her that we weren't quite to that point yet, and we were going to give Grandma some more time and hope that she comes around. I can't say for sure how Christmas is going to go, but I know that I won't be subjecting my family to her being negative toward my youngest daughters. I don't THINK she will, but after her behavior at Thanksgiving I'm just not sure now. I can't even talk to her about it right now though, because my grandmother (my mom's mom) is so sick. Everyone seems to think that we'll be losing her soon. I'm still hoping that she'll make a turnaround like she did last year, but only time will tell. Then we went to see DH's parents. My poor mother-in-law had a stroke a couple of years ago, and can no longer control her emotions. She cries at the drop of a hat. When we got there D3 was upset because she had been scolded for being ugly to Son. I did my best to comfort her and tell her that we still love her we just want her to speak nicely to other people. So we took her in to meet her other grandma. DH's mom took one look at her and grabbed her around the neck and pulled her close and started sobbing. DH & I were both very alarmed for our sad, already traumatized child who was now in the deathgrip of a scary stranger in a wheelchair who was wailing. We quickly removed D3 from Grandma and took her out of the room. I don't blame DH's mom because I know she can't help it, but I was just so frustrated. Between my mom and his mom, it was a rough day. Friday was good. I took Son to see Harry Potter IV and to get some new jeans and he bought a new gamecube game, while DH watched the girls (all three of them) :). Saturday we took the girls to the ranch. It belongs to DH's dad's cousin and we go out there every year, the Saturday after Thanksgiving. Everybody thought they were so cute and sweet and they really had a great time. We had one nosy aunt who gave us the 20 questions, but I told her honestly that I really don't know what kind of abuse the girls have suffered. It's crazy how people that it's appropriate to ask things like that while sitting down to eat with everyone listening. Yesterday we put up the Christmas tree and decorations. It was very touching to watch my four children working together. At one point we stopped for a large family hug. It was awesome to feel all those arms around each other. I talked to DH about it and told him how we had always dreamed how wonderful it would be to have a large family, and how much fun it would be, and now we have it. Then DH said "Yes, and it feels like we have room for more." I told him that we do, but NOT RIGHT NOW! And he completely agreed, not right now, but very likely in the future. I'm thinking four to six years would be appropriate, but we're not going to put any limits on God. I'm happily looking forward to the future.