We Met Them

On Saturday, we drove an hour to Foster Mom's house. It was a nice neighborhood, and we were pleased to see that the girls have a nice house to live in. When we pulled up in front of the house, I opened the car door and started to bound out, and then suddenly shut the door again. I looked at DH and took his hand, and he read my mind and said "Do you want to pray first?" I nodded and we did. We walked up to the door and rang the bell, and Foster Mom’s adult daughter answered the door. She introduced us to her sister and told us that Foster Mom had gone to the store and that they do respite for her. Then she told us the kids were in the playroom. I took DH’s hand and we walked together into the room. There were six kids sitting in various chairs and on the floor. There was a table for drawing, coloring, etc., and a TV and a daybed along with the chairs and couch. There were FIVE girls and a boy. I had thought that I would walk into the room and instantly know which ones they were, because I had been told what they look like, even though I’d never seen a picture of them. But I had no idea at all. Foster Mom’s daughter introduced them one at a time: Lulu, Peanut, Kitten & Tiger. (Not their real names) Then she pointed to the last two who were sitting on the floor, Girl1 & Girl2. They were playing cards. They looked up at us, then ran over and said “Want to play Go Fish?” We were a bit taken aback, but after meeting eyes, we said “Sure we will!” So the four of us sat down at the table and started playing. I could barely pay attention to the game, because I kept drinking in the sight of them. It was a very surreal experience. Girl1 taught us her rules, which were a little different than how you normally play. I didn’t care one bit. The other kids started interacting with us too, and also with the girls. A few minutes into our game, everyone was yelling and jumping around, and someone turned on the TV, and it got quite chaotic. I hoped that it wouldn’t be like that for the entire three hours. We were both a bit overwhelmed, but shortly after that Foster Mom got home and took over. The TV got turned down to a reasonable level and the kids settled down. One of the first things Girl1 said was “Jesus wept.” She asked us if we knew why, and I said why? She said it was because he had to die for our sins and he was sad. I can tell that someone is teaching her about Jesus and we are very glad. It was so sweet to see both of them talking about Jesus. Girl1 decided to show us her picture album. There were various pictures from when she went to camp in June, and then one of her & Girl2 and their brother with their birth parents. Girl1 said “That’s a picture of us with our mom & dad. We’re not ever going to see them again.” Then after a pause, “We’re going to be adopted.” She stated these things with no emotion whatsoever. I felt tears spring into my eyes. There was a four year old boy there who took to me right away. He kept patting me and telling me that he loved me. He told me that I was pretty and he wanted me to come back. He wanted to share my chair and sit on my lap. I wasn’t sure if it was okay for him to sit on my lap (CPS rules) so mostly he just sat next to me. Girl1 had a little notebook and she tore some paper out and drew a picture on it. She drew four stick figures, and said that they were DH, me, Girl2 & her. At the top she drew a stick figure and said that was God, and she drew some clouds under him. She made one for DH and one for me, and gave them to me to take home. DH and I were both on the verge of tears, just sitting there with them. I kept swallowing around the huge lump in my throat. Eventually, DH went to sit in the armchair and I stayed at the table. Girl1 followed him and sat in a little chair, and challenged him to a game of tic tac toe. One of the older girls sat at the table with Girl2 & me and brought paper and colored pencils for drawing. Girl2 offered me some paper. She wanted me to color with her. She said that she would draw a picture and I should copy her, so that’s what we did. I told her that when we were finished we should trade and I would keep the one she drew and she could keep the one I drew. She thought that was a good idea. She wrote on it, To: Stacy From: Girl2 and she wrote “I love you” on it with a heart. I wrote the same thing on hers. The paper I left for her is probably already lost or thrown away by now, but hers made it safely home with me. Across the room, I noticed that Girl1 had brought DH her headset and explained that the batteries were dead. DH looked at it, and then he got his little flashlight that he wears on his belt. Then he got out his “everything” tool that he also wears on his belt and took the back off the headset. He proceeded to exchange his flashlight batteries for her dead ones. At this point I was nearly in tears, just watching them. Girl1 put the headset on and started singing along to a song only she could hear “God has a plan for my life, God has a plan for my life”. DH and I looked at each other and both of our eyes were brimming with tears. Yes, Girl1, sweet girl, God definitely has a plan for your life. Sometime after that Foster Mom called all the kids into the kitchen for lunch. Girl1 said that she wasn’t hungry. I think she wanted to stay in the playroom with DH and me. Foster Mom insisted that she eat, so she went to the table. Girl2 noticed that we had followed along behind them, and asked us sweetly if we would like to sit down. We told her no, to go on and eat. Foster Mom asked us to join her in the playroom, and we discussed all we knew about the situation. Foster Mom really liked us and said that she hoped the girls could join our family. She felt that we were a good match. Later while drawing again with Girl2, she asked me if I could stay longer. Then she said she wished we could spend the night. I told her that I was sorry but we couldn’t. Then she asked me if we would come back sometime. I told her that we probably would. When our time was up, Girl2 gave me a hug, and Girl1 gave DH a hug. We talked to Foster Mom for a little while at the door, and we all promised to pray for each other. She’s a very sweet lady and a strong believer. She said she would call her CPS worker this week and recommend us. I don’t know if that will make any difference one way or the other but I appreciated her vote of confidence. When we got into the car, we were both overwhelmed by the strong emotions we felt. We interacted with all six children while we were there. Honestly, if I was able and our house was big enough, I’d be willing to take every one of them. My heart was broken. They were all so sweet. I know now beyond a shadow of a doubt that I’m ready for this. If the girls are offered to us, we will adopt them. I had a lot of questions before I met them as to how I would feel. There was no instant bond, nothing like I felt with the babies. However, I have no doubt that it would grow quickly if I was assured that they were going to be mine. I fell a little bit in love with all six of them. The only difference I felt is because I knew that the girls were the ones available to us. I’ve had them on my mind a lot since then. October can’t come fast enough. Whether it is these girls or other children that God has for us, I am ready and so is DH. That was confirmed for me on Saturday.